Moan for me like Helen Keller
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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