My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
