Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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