Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
