last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
