on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
