FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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