I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
