I must be too annoying 4 u.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
