and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
