Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
