I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
