I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
