I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
