very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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