I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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