Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
