Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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