somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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