No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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