this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was like his penis was on wheels.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
