Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
