Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
