Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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