Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
