I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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