Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
