i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize