cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
