They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
