I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
