I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
