Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I did not marry a roomba.
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