ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
