I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
