I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
