I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
