I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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