I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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