You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Plan B is the new Plan A
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
