How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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