He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
