I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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