and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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