Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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