Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
