Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
