Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize
