i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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