There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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