More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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