So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
