He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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