I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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