Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
