You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
