I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
