thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
