Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
