she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
