Will you blow on my dice?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
