Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
