If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
