YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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